Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Let's Fire All the Teachers!


Now that President Obama has endorsed the wholesale firings of teachers in Rhode Island and elsewhere, he will surely need to replace Education Secretary Arne Duncan with someone who has more experience firing people.

Duncan is simply too nice of a guy to implement the President's new strategy for school reform. As far as we know, Duncan has never fired anyone in his life. So, if Obama is really serious about firing teachers, he should also fire Secretary Duncan and replace him with Donald Trump!

Sure, Trump has no experience in education. He has never taught in the classroom or run a large urban school system. But, hey, that doesn't matter. He knows how to fire people. He has raised firing employees to an art form. He is supremely qualified to carry out the President's new education initiative.

Is there anyone who can say the words, "YOU'RE FIRED," with more conviction than The Donald? I don't think so. He has fired everyone imaginable from celebrities to beauty queens. Surely, he will be up to the task of firing a few hundred or a few thousand teachers, all in the name of school reform.

After all, this is what the President's school improvement plan is all about. Low test scores? Fire the teachers! Poor attendance? Fire more teachers! Discipline problems? Fire still more teachers!

Then when there are no more teachers left to fire, he can start in on the custodians. And when they are gone, he can fire the crossing guards. Then he will go after the real culprits in our failing schools - the lunch ladies!

This is no job for a lightweight like Arne Duncan. Real school reform will require somebody who can look at that poor underpaid and overworked teacher, point his finger, and say "YOU'RE FIRED" and really mean it.

Donald Trump is clearly the man for the job. Of course, he will have to be confirmed by the Senate, but that should not be a problem. And if the Senate refuses to confirm The Donald, well, he can fire them too.

Now that is change you can believe in!

7 comments:

James McGrath Morris said...

If we fire all the teachers who will be left to provide the education that enables people like Trump (with no self-evident skills) to make a fortune. Think about what better proof is there that education works than someone like Trump who is quite stupid but thanks to teachers made a success of himself.

adarsh pradeep said...

I love your article, Mr.Magg! You addressed all the absurdities in Obama's plan that I,too, was thinking of, but never expressed. It is sad when a President thinks that ALL the fault lays on the hardworking teachers of America who are already in constant pressure to keep up high test scores,etc. On top of this, he decides to add the fear of being fired? He should AT THE LEAST raise the pay first! I hope someone has the senese to realize the stupidity of Obama's plan, and oppose it!!

Joo Yung Lee said...

Quite an amusing post Mr. Magg! All the while making a valid point. Donald Trump is a humorous idea for a secretary, but you're right in a sense that they don't have legitimate reasons to fire all these teachers!

Muaz Rahman said...

Mr. Magg,

I most definitely agree. And really, I think that you shouldn't fire teachers just for the sake of firing. You should fire "bad" teachers who do not contribute and is means to a disruptive and unhealthy learning environment. And from what I understand, Obama is just trying to fire teachers just for the sake of firing them.

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